...and I hate that for you. For the most part, I always think about the good in people. That's not to say that I trust everyone out there and that I think everyone is great. But what that does mean is Mom usually always gives someone a chance. I'm not very judgmental, I tend to give others the benefit of the doubt, and until you rub me the wrong way or give me the wrong impression, I think you are pretty awesome. That's why it has always been so easy for me to make friends. But unfortunately, having a personality like that sets you up for a lot of disappointment and this time it came from your Dad.
Dad starting working out of town. Hopefully this will happen soon, but we are trying to move to Wilmington. That's where Dad's job and partner are and we really need to get there for him to be able to work better. BUT, Mom can't find a job so easily, so for right now he is traveling 3 days a week. I don't like it (I hate being in this huge house by myself), but your Dad promised me that he would make sure that he wouldn't miss anything important in our lives including doctors appointments, anything that you are involved in at school, family functions, etc. Dad hasn't been traveling but for 2 weeks and he's already telling me he can't come to a CRUCIAL doctor's appointment. He says he has a job site that he has to be on that day and he cannot be late. Dad is his own boss. He can be late, or he could skip it. But he's sooooo into his work that he won't. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time that your dad has dissapointed me. So, I'm writing this because I know that Dad will probably disappoint you at some point too. Probably more than once. Dad is really focused and really driven (which are pretty good qualities about a person) however, Dad's focus and drive is about 95% work related and 5% other. (Notice how I say 5% other...not family.) So within that 5% Dad has to fit, family, friends, projects, household, among other things. When you divide 5% up among all other things, most other things get the shaft. And this time, it's me and you. I want you to know that this doesn't mean Dad doesn't love us, because I know he does (he did keep apologizing this morning) but this does mean that Dad's priorities are a little screwy and I'm not sure when (if ever) they will get straightened out. He knows he is wrong, and he knows he has screwed up. But, he can't fix it (which to me means he won't). Grandpa LJ always used to say that to me and Uncle Fabulous, "Can't means won't," and if you think about it, it really does. When you get older and start thinking about all the things you are going to say you "can't" do. If you say to yourself "Can't means won't," then at least you have to try, and if you try then you might surprise yourself and turn that "can't" into "I did it!"
On another note, Aunt Ron Ron is come to visit today (maybe tomorrow) with your cousins. They will be here until next Thursday (I'm going to be going CRAZY!) But it will be nice to have some family in town. Having you makes me even more sad that my family isn't closer to us. I wish I could just get in the car and drive to visit them, but it takes 11 hours. Yikes! Maybe one day we will all be close again. Dad tries to talk Grandma and Grandpa Beantown into retiring down here at the beach so we can go visit and hang out in a beach house, but Grandpa Beantown has a ways to go before retirement (or so he says ) and plus I think they are going to have some issues selling their house when the time comes. But we always cross our fingers!!
Well Little Peanut, I'm going to sign off for now. The next time I write will probably be after I see your little self again. I cannot wait to see how much you have grown in there!! Some of my friends say that the doctor can take a good guess as to what you are (boy or girl) but they also say that depending on who does the picture, they may not just so they don't get it wrong. (I hope ours tries to guess!!)
I love you!!!
~Mommy
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